BOO!

I feel like a zombie today - seems appropriate with halloween just around the corner. Still on the beach, but working hard. Lots of proposals and follow up work to do right now, so the few people on the beach are stretched pretty thin to try to help everything go smoothly. I guess I'm really tired from several late nights due to work. I thought maybe the fact that I hadn't worked out in about a week was making me feel tired, so yesterday I got up and did pilates in the morning, then went for a bike ride around sunset. It felt good, but I could feel the week. Also, my allergies are crazy bad. I don't know what the deal is, but I seriously wake up in the middle of the night because I'm having troubles breathing. Weird. I thought for awhile that I was allergic to my condo, because it was only bad at night when I was home. But now it's just bad all the time, so maybe it was more of a timing thing. So anyway, I had to cut my ride short because I couldn't breath. The good thing was I finally made it through a 6 hour stretch of sleep without waking up every hour. So I had the energy to work out this morning - run on the treadmill because there's no daylight in the AM anymore! That usually gets me going for the day but today I'm more exhausted than ever. Hmm. Gotta figure this one out. The really good news is that I don't have any big commitments this weekend. Little bit of work, a friend is throwing a party, and I think I'm going to go to the single's sunday school. I'll plan to rest up and see if this is just an exhausted thing. Other than that, who knows, maybe I"lll get staffed on Monday! One thing is for sure, I'll have to find a good orange and black outfit for Monday so that I can be festive. :)

Feelin' Beachy

Week 4 on the beach. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I was picked up to help out with various proposals and pursuits, even put together a proposal on my own for the first time. Hopefully the VP likes it. I've never really seen a finished product, so I wasn't sure exactly what it should be. Ah well.

Last week was good. I started coming in to the office, which is actually somewhat lively during the week b/c October should be renamed Beach-tober. It's the down month for consulting, at least for the junior consultants. The officers are going crazy because it's pitch and plead time - they're frantically trying to get on everybody's budgets for next year, whether it be completely new clients, project add-ons, or just extensions of current projects. So that's where our beach work comes into play, and thus my location of the office. It's much easier to get everything done and cut your day off at a decent time if you work face to face. I was still able to get home to run on the trail in the last of the daylight, and I caught all the fave shows - oh, and I made dinner again. Man, I'm becoming a real culinary whiz. Well, maybe not, it was just tacos, but still.

Went out on Friday to a bar in Fort Worth where my friend's band was playing. Oh man - so we drive all the way to FW, only to pull up to this bar in the middle of nowhere, and I honestly asked the guys I went with if we were about to walk into a cult initiation. Interesting location. But then we walk in, and we are LITERALLY the only people there. And they charged us an $8 cover. $8!! Good bars don't charge that. Anyway, the show was good and the drinks were drunk. We ditched the cowboy ghetto and headed back to good ole uptown, where the cover is free but the drinks are $16, as it should be when you're wearing gold shoes. ;) Ended up having to crash at "the Deuce" because I was just in that kind of condition. Definitely did the drive of shame, followed by the elevator ride of shame. Fortunately, I only ran into a doctor coming off of a night shift, who I think was so tired he didn't even notice I was in the same elevator as him (and don't worry Ro, he's short). Played it pretty low key on Saturday, although I did manage to get my bike chain fixed. It completely broke when I went for a ride a few weeks ago. I took my bike in to the shop I go to, and the dude looked at it and said "well, i can repair it, which will cost about $10, but honestly...I"m not sure it's even worth it with this chain"!!! My bike is at least 20 years old, and the chain probably has never been replaced. So now I have a brand-spankin new shiny chain, on my old rusty dirty bike. :) That's awesome. I'm definitely going to go for a ride tonight if I get home before the sun goes down.

Sunday I went to church with Cav - well I was supposed to meet her there, but as is usual these days I just can't seem to get myself anywhere on time. Not sure why. I get up in time, but I've become more like my grandmother every day, and find myself doing things like rearranging my closet when I should be getting in the shower. But I digress. I couldn't find her before church, so I ended up sitting alone, but then we grabbed lunch together. It was so great to spend time with her. We've been friends since college, but it's always been more of a group thing, so I've not spent much time getting to really know her. I love getting to know people better, and seeing as how I consider her as a sort of role model, well, I just thought it was a nice time :) I haven't been going for long to her church, but I really feel like it's a good match, and man, this Sunday seriously pierced my heart. It was titled Longing for Love. Everybody has something that they believe is their one true love...money, big time career, family, or in my case, my future husband. But we can get so consumed trying to find that, and make it perfect, that we miss out on the perfect true love we already have. It was perfect timing for me. I've been fine since about December last year, but in the past couple of weeks, I have really started to be frustrated by the lack of a love life that I am experiencing. I haven't been on a date in over 2 years. It's not like I'm turning people down - I haven't even been asked out. I have lots of male friends, and most of them comment on my looks in a positive way, so I have to assume that I'm fun and not ugly. So I can't figure out what the problem is. And I really started to question God, and started asking why He didn't trust me to be in a relationship right now, why He couldn't just send someone to make me feel desirable. I hadn't lapsed into the feelings of desperation that I've experienced before...I'm ok with the fact that He hasn't presented a husband for me, and I've started to contemplate the notion that maybe he won't, which is less scary than it used to be. But seriously, going on a date does not mean marriage, and I was just longing for that first date experience - the giddyness of knowing someone likes you and wants to spend time with you. I think what it really comes down to is jealousy. I feel like I'm just as cute and fun as my friends, yet they always seem to be meeting people and going on dates, while I'm still dateless. When I go out with one of my best girlfriends, she's always being approached by guys, always. She has the "perfect life" in the eyes of lots of people. If I'm Leah, she's my Racheal. But then I kind of had a wake up call that while she gets approached by so many people, she still hasn't found her Mr. Right...and she has to go through the frustration of dating so many wrong people, and in all honesty, I think she's just as frustrated and miserable about that as I am about not having the dates. Great lesson that came at a good time for me, and I feel like it helped answer my requests to bring me back to focusing on fellowship and ministry. I'm going to try going to one of the young adults sunday school classes next week - they have one that works with the children at the church, and that's always been a place that I feel I can make the most of my gifts. I realize that I am so blessed to have a job I love, a beautiful home, amazing trustworthy friends and family, and a Father that loves and cares for me unconditionally.

Well, I figure I've talked enough now to make up for the lack of posts in the past week. I suppose I should probably mention that I did well on my GMAT. Not quite the 800, but I can definitely apply to all of the schools, so that's good. Thanks to all for your prayers and support!

Dreaming of an 800

I think it's time to pay a little homage to the days on the railroad...

I think I can I think I can I think I can!

Yes, tomorrow morning at 8am I will sit down to take the GMAT. I'm not going to write much here, other than I would really appreciate your prayers and positive thoughts. Pray that I will remain clear headed, focused, and calm. I tend to be distracted too easily by thoughts of previous questions, or timing, and that's no good! I know I can do really well, I have the knowledge, I just need to get throught the test-taking anxiety.

Ok then, I'm off to finish reviewing.

I think I can I think I can I think I can!

Life's a Beach

Week 2 on the beach begins. I'm off to a great start. I think I'm going to be able to truly wrap up the last project, and offer my assistance to some proposal or research work. The frantic calls and emails have stopped (knock on wood) and I'm only getting the occasional questions - so far only 3 today. That's impressive. I've been able to just hammer away at my transition list to hand off the last of the documents and notes.

Great weekend. It was so nice to live a weekend like a 'normal' person! I went out on Thursday for the first time in I don't know how long. Had dinner with a friend, took in a concert by The Transcenders at the Granada, had a few drinks and a really good time. You know how good if you read my last post.

Friday night I rallied and had dinner with a different friend, then went out to join the OU/TX masses near SMU. Out of Control. That's the only way to describe that. We had to walk several blocks to get to the bar we were trying to get to. On the way, we were following a fairly drunk group of about 5 girls and 4 guys. These 2 girls in front of us are walking along, and the one in front of me walks smack into a sign post. She doesn't slow down, doesn't but her hands up, nothing. It's like something out of a movie. If you saw Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, her reaction was like when those fly swatter things slap them in the face for the first time. She fell back and looked stunned...honestly I'm surprised her nose didn't bleed! My friend and I could hardly contain our laughter - once we saw she wasn't bleeding - but it took her friend who was walking next to her about 3 steps down the path to realize there was something amiss. She turns around and looks at us, thinking it was one of us who ran into the sign, and she starts to say "Did someone just run into..." giggling at our misfortune, when she sees her friend and realizes it wasn't us. They rush off in embarrassment and we continue after them trying not to burst out laughing. It was great. Anyway, the bar had its parking lot blocked off to act as an outdoor extension of the bar, there was live music, and lots of people. It was the first cool weekend too, so it was comfortable to be outside in a sweater or light jacket. Very nice.

Hit church on Sunday, great sermon on the sin and messiness in our lives, the fact that we often are ready to blame everyone else for the messiness, when it's often possible to trace to our own sin - Genesis 29, the story of Jacob, Leah and Racheal as the example. I'm still sorting through the application of this to my life, but I can think of times in the past where it was true, and fortunately the Lord provided and helped me to recognize my sins and get through them with His help. I'll probably have more to say on this later, but still pondering at this moment. I ran some errands after church, including going to Central Market for a little grocery shopping, and my weekend became excellent. I picked up a bunch of Honey Crisp apples. These are the very best apples you have ever tasted in your whole life. So much flavor...not too tart, not too sweet...and the perfect apple texture. Yummy. Topped it all off with a bit of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy (so good), with a bowl of Rocky Road on the side, and got to bed in time to wake up to start fresh today!

Off to run some errands...be back later to wrap up the work!

Stupid People Annoy Me

I dedicate this post to Chuck, who sent me this long email with all sorts of Maxine cartoons, and this one was just sooo flippin appropriate today that I couldn't resist using it here. First of all, I definitely feel like Maxine...I'm hungover, tired, irritated, and feeling old. Went out last night with a friend who is in town and let's just say that I have not been out in too long, and little lucky ducky here forgot to stop drinking beer. So then I roll into work today with my grande mocha, and what do I discover? They have built a Starbucks in my office. Not like there's a Starbucks on the first floor in it's own store in my office, but literally in my office. We have a big open space that our floor encircles, and they built a coffee bar there, and all day long I now have to listen to the frothing of milk and the grinding of coffee beans. Right now they are cleaning up and doing the dishes...the loud metal dishes. And then people stand around and think they are at Starbucks and have those trying to be intellectual conversations while sipping their venti half-caff soy latte, extra hot. And I can hear it. Every word. And they built this cute little sitting area with this big white board on wheels so you can apparantly hold a meeting at the Starbucks...and I can hear all of that too. Unbelievable. I want to know what genius came up with this idea. I am SO glad we are moving our office soon...I feel sorry for the person who has to try to convince someone else to move into this space. Good Luck!

So I get to work, and what happens? I get asked the same question by the same person for the 3rd time. I'll spare you the details (just for you Ro), but I just can't help but gawk at the open email message in astonishment that someone could still not understand after that many explanations!

Ok right...so I'm irritated. Now back to work so I can try to get out of here soon and take a nap. TGIF

Caught

I've been found. I've got to call one of the IT VPs tomorrow to discuss helping out on a proposal. I can't figure this one out, it's an IT VP leading a proposal for a home improvement store. Hmm. Should be interesting to hear what this one is about. Good thing is...helping with proposals can lead to helping with the project, and IT is better than sourcing!

I'm still up to my ears in my last project. Seems everybody hates me. I'm going to be the person who gets the blame for years. I hope that I can get most of this wrapped up and passed off before too long. It'll really cause some problems for me if I haven't handled it before I get staffed again. At an associate level, that's expected, that you'll have some baggage from previous projects. As a BA, you're just expected to be able to hit the ground running and start crunching data and building decks. Not sure the best way to handle this...if I should mention the continuing work to my next manager/VP or not? I'll have to pray on this one. Pray that I work diligently to complete the work and the hand off, and that I know the right thing to do should it not be complete when I get the official call to head off to the next project.

On a completely different note...this past weekend was documentary weekend for me. I watched March of the Penguins with my grandparents in Illinois, then Spellbound at home by myself. Wow, March of the Penguins was amazing. I just can't see how anyone can argue with that perfect example of how God created his creatures. I mean, these penguins march hundreds of miles, with the sole purpose of mating (heterosexual, mind you), creating a new living generation, raising and protecting that creation, and then they go right back to doing it again. The babies are born and by instinct they know to come back and go through all of that after 5 years. Incredible. There couldn't be a clearer example of how God intends life on earth to be! I mean, talk about temptation. These daddy penguins sit on an egg in the blizzards of antarctica, for more than 5 months, surrounded by nothing but ice and other male penguins. They lose half their body weight protecting their eggs and are starving. They only return to the sea to feed after they have allowed their women to do so, and they turn around and come right back with food for the new family. I mean, what human would go through all of that? I don't know many. Love is an amazing thing, and when people really find it, it lasts, and I see that sort of devotion...my parents, grandparents, and several of my friends have exemplified that sort of love. But then there are all the other things that people mistake for love. I mean I can't lie, I've been there and done that. I don't know why I thought I loved some of the people in my past. But I know now that there were certain things missing...I was always aware of it, I felt it...but I ignored it. Watching the penguins, you can see that their instincts lead them to love, and their love enables them to live on in new generations. I think I'm going to listen to my instincts from now on.

Anyway, my eyes are watering because I'm so tired. So that's it for now. Sweet Dreams!

On the beach again!

Well here I am, in sunny Dallas, enjoying the "beach" as we call it (for all you non-consultamaniacs...that's what we call it when you're not staffed on a billable project. unless you're at Accenture. where they call it the bench...crazy sports freaks, no wonder Tiger is their spokesman) Anyway, I've taken full advantage of my first two days on the beach. rough life I tell ya. I woke up yesterday, worked for about an hour cleaning up from my last project, went for a run, lifted in the gym, stretched, showered, worked a little more until I was too hungry to continue. Then I cooked myself a breakfast burrito and made an oh-so-delicious peppermint mocha. Then back to the work. Clouds broke up around 2:30 so I headed for the pool to catch a little tan time (what would the beach be without some tanning thrown in???) Came back up, finished up some urgent work issues (yes, from the project I'm no longer on) and had a snack. Broke out the GMAT book and took a practice test. Got a 630 out of 800...not good enough. So planned to study today. Then I caught some TV, did some reading, a little more work, and got myself in bed at a decent time.

today was much the same. Slightly more work, much less GMAT studying...gotta pick that up tomorrow is all. I've pretty much got all of the clean up finished...but there are still people calling me to yell at me about some decision I made (or didn't) so I'll still be dealing with that. but my guess is that won't go away anytime soon. Ah well.

See, the thing is, as long as no one knows you're on the beach, you have time to do all of the extra stuff I'm fitting in around project clean up. It's a pretty nice life. But you can only do it so long. At some point you have to reach out and start helping out with various internal projects...research projects, proposals, firm activities, etc. I had planned to do that tomorrow afternoon or Thursday, depending on how the morning goes with those screaming/yelling phone calls previously mentioned. But then the dreaded happened...staffing found me. The email came, simply titled "Just wanted to check in to confirm that you're available for new projects..." So I had to give myself away. The beach will be but a fond memory very, very soon. Sigh.

So that just means I need to get my act together tomorrow morning and make the most of it. Wrap up the project for good. Pass off everything to the next poor sucker. And get crackin on the GMAT studying while I still have that luxury. Also need to do all sorts of normal life stuff...get my oil changed on the car, clean out my filing cabinets, run all sorts of errands...you get the point. I had really hoped to have all week to do that, but I guess that's the funny thing about work. You kinda have to do whatever they ask you to, at least when it's between doing personal stuff and work stuff on the company dime. Yea.

I know I had something of a little more substance that I wanted to post...but for some reason I'm tired (must be the 2.5 mile run today, or the hour of tanning while studying) and therefore I'm forgetful. Oh well, my goal is to post every day I'm on the beach, because you never know where I'll be sent next and what my schedule will be. So maybe tomorrow will be more important. Ponder that. That's it for now...sweet dreams!

Frosted Flakes, Fruit Loops, and Smart Start

MMMMM....Kellogg brand cereals! I can't wait to eat lots and lots of them. haha. Just kidding.

I visited Kellogg School of Management (at Northwestern University) on Friday. I had a fantastic time, and I completely see myself fitting in there. Now it's just a matter of convincing the admissions folks that I deserve to be there more than the other 3000 people applying for the class of 600. Time to crack down on those apps!

The one thing the trip definitely did was make me realize how very ready I am to take that step. I was afraid that I would feel too young or inexperienced, but I realize that I can draw a lot from those around me while there, and bring some youth to the table at the same time. I certainly didn't feel like I was the baby in the crowd, so that was good. To answer Tradespan's questions, somewhat, I love consulting. Some people probably think I'm crazy, and some are probably surprised to hear me say that, based on the complaints they hear from me regularly. But when it comes down to it, I look forward to the challenge of my next project. Sure, there are days that I wake up and REALLY don't want to go in, or times where I feel that I don't deserve to be there, or even times where I feel that I'm not cut out for the job emotionally...but when it comes down to it, I'm doing well, I like the lack of monotony, I love the travel, I love the chance to work with different people, I love helping people to have that light bulb Aha! moment ...basically, I can't think of a better job for me right here right now.

Ok, so now you're thinking...wait, if you feel that way, why go back to school. Well sit right back and let me tell you... Really, as much as I like all of those things, I still often feel completely underqualified and undereducated for the roles I am placed in. Part of doing really well and getting on good projects is that I've been placed in a position with responsibilities about 2 levels over mine...basically, I'm serving in the role of a person who already has an MBA. That's great and all that they trust me, but the learning curve can be quite frustrating. I spent probably the equivalent of 4 hours per week trying to figure things out that I would know had I already been through the process of getting an MBA. Not to mention, as I'm sitting across a table from presidents of companies, I know they already think of me as the blond young thing...it would really help to have that extra umph to my credibility. Regardless, I'll be expected to go get the MBA in the next 2-3 years, and at this point, with the fast track I seem to be on, I don't see any reason in putting it off. I plan to apply to our company's loan program, which basically means I would owe 2 years of work after receiving my MBA. The frustrating thing is that some people apply to this in hopes of getting an even better offer and not returning. I mean, I'm not gonna stand here and say that it wouldn't be awesome to have that happen, but I actually really like my company and really do plan to return. I'm not counting on something different at this point. And the loan program is competitive, so I've gotta find a way to convey that.

Ok, so I've been kinda rambling. Point is, I'm excited to go to B-school, and now I just need to figure out where else I will submit apps, do well on the GMAT (11 days and counting), and get accepted somewhere! On the list...London Business School, Harvard, Columbia, Duke, Virginia, Georgetown. Maybe some others...still doing the research. I'd really like to visit as many as possible before applying, just so that I know why it is I want to go there beyond reputation and location. And I'd like to weed it down to 4 schools b/c of app costs. We'll see. Stay tuned!